Last night, I played a show to an obnoxious crowd. These are the worst fucking types of people to play to. People kept getting on stage and dancing. I’m swinging around a 10lb hunk of wood and metal. Stay the fuck away from me. They were drunk as fuck holding their drinks over my pedal board. Fucking HAAATE that shit!
Seriously. Unless the band asks people to get on stage, don’t fucking get up there. This isn’t a punk show where people are stage diving. If its that kind of crowd (and not just assholes that don’t give a fuck whether or not the people in the front want to catch them), then that’s cool, but all you’re doing is posing a danger to us, our equipment, and of absolute least importance, yourself.
Don’t fucking talk to the band while they’re performing. If you have a request, write it on a piece of paper and toss it on stage. Maybe we’ll do it. Maybe we won’t. But do not wave me over while I’m trying to play guitar and try to have a conversation with me. In the middle of a song is not the best time to ask me if I’m influenced by Iron Maiden. Want to know the best time to talk to the band? When they’re not fucking on stage trying to do their god damn job.
STOP TRYING TO BUY CDs AND MERCHANDISE WHILE WE’RE PLAYING. I appreciate that you’re drunk enough to just hand your credit card to a perfect stranger but fuck off while I’m in the middle of a song. I can’t fucking help you. When we are done playing, you can buy all the things, but until then, you can buy zero of the things.
The Most Bad Ass Thing I Have Ever Done
Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I avoid physical confrontation like the plague. I feel like it doesn’t solve anything, and it’s not worth being sued because someone bumped into me or I overheard them making fun of me.
Well tonight at The Wonder Years show, there were a bunch of total assholes. I don’t know when this thing started where if you want to crowd surf, you physically climb up someone’s back, but fuck that mess. It’s a horrible practice. Well someone did that to me tonight. I grabbed them, pulled them down, and while people were still holding him, I grabbed his shirt, got in his face and said “If you fucking climb on me again I’ll fucking kill you. If you want me to put you up, I will. But don’t fucking climb on me.” He looked frightened, which is good because if he done anything he would’ve fucked me up. I can’t fight for shit. Then a girl handed me the glasses that fell off my face, and I thanked her.
It felt good. I felt like I had made the choice to not allow this dickbag think he could get away with climbing up my back and knocking my glasses off. Who the fuck do you think you are, dude? That’s how people get fucking hurt. Yea, it’s a punk show. Shit happens. But there’s a difference between shit happening, and you making it fucking happen because you can’t be respectful of the people around you. Then you deserve a good strong punch in the face. A black eye to look at in the mirror to remind you that some people will not accept you LITERALLY walking all over them. Fuck that guy.