I’d like to write a long and angry post about how we get more upset over politicians showing their dicks then we do over politicians lying to us, taking our money, and getting our soldiers killed, but fuck that. We all know its fucking bullshit already, and we don’t need another Tumblr post about it.
I was looking on Craigslist for odd jobs because I could use some extra money and I came across a part-time driver job. The only information it gave me was that it was a Monday Wednesday Friday thing and I would be doing some driving. I sent an e-mail saying I was interested in the job. This is what I got back:
How are you doing and i hope everything is fine with you,Thanks for your response about driving my wife and I am glad to read from you regards the driving job.I have contacted my wife concerning the pick up and for other purpose which she might need you for,which she told me is okay by her,I believe you could be fit for this position in as much you will prove yourself a reliable and responsible person.
I will prefer you have your car available but let me know if you don’t have so I can get.I am offering you $580 weekly and you will make yourself available 3 times a week to her schedule for 3 hours each day,which she will be coming by 22th Of February or before that,that is why i have been making arrangement for her,because She has a minor dislocation with her left Leg,she cant drive herself at the moment,that is why am looking for a careful driver for her,you need to be very careful about taking care of her for me cause she means the world to me …….
Concerning the payment,I want you to know that my associate which we do business together who is in US will be sending you a cashier check because I live in Puerto Rico with my family and here is my address 487 Harris Ave.(Rd. 830) Bayamón, PR 00705. and PR checks are not Valid in the state and will take many problems to cash that why am asking him to make the payment to you and i have already make the arrangement with you so that you can have the cashier cash
once you get the payment,also the payment will be in amount of your money for the first week and the money for her travel expenses,accommodations and any other expenses and you will deduct $580 your payment for the first week and have all the rest money sent to the travel agent via western union or money gram,any one that pleases you,also i will be sending you the information of the travel agent and where you are to pick her up once the payment has been sent to you.
I will be needing your trust about payment because the payment will be mail out by my associate and you will get it during the week before the end of the month ,If you can do this and very honest,Please do email back with you full name and address you want the cashier check to be sent to and we can continue from there …
Your Full name:
Address : ( no po box) only street address
zip code :
Your phone number: (Cell and Home)
Acceptance of offer:I will appreciate your quick response if you are satisfied with the offer and I will be willing to instruct my associate in the states to go ahead and issue out the paycheck for the deposit of the first week to you as soon as possible,i want us to clear up all payments during next week cause she will be preparing to come and i want you to prepare as well ,also once you get the money you need to get across to the travel agent with there own part of the money immediately so they can be prepared as well and I will appreciate quick response from you.
Here is my response:
I am doing well, thank you for asking. And of course I would respond to the ad asking to drive your wife! It sounds like such a fantastic opportunity! I am glad this arrangement is alright by your wife, and you are correct in that you will find me a trustworthy and reliable person.
I do have my own car so you will not have to get. The $580 a week is a very low amount for driving someone for three hours on three days a week. Hopefully a raise will be in order once I have proven myself to you and your beloved. I do so promise to take care of her for you, especially in all the ways you can’t being in Puerto Rico. I will be sure to be gentle with her so as not to cause anymore discomfort in her leg while I am rearranging her hot Rican insides.
A cashier check I receive through you associate is more than acceptable and not at all suspicious, and people on Craigslist who send money through Western Union from other countries have been proven time and time again to be some of the more trustworthy people in this world.
I look forward to doing business with you and fucking the shit out of your wife three times a week!