It's very rare, but when I find it, I will reblog Star Wars porn. But for the most part, this blog is safe for work, though certainly not safe for humanity. I sometimes talk about masturbating to people with cancer.
Happy Mother’s Day to the lady who once laughed so hard at my dad falling down the steps that she peed her pants.
Book I’m about to start right now is NOS4A2 by Joe Hill. Again, a book I know nothing about (except it presumably involves some sort of vampire) but purchased because I like Joe Hill on Tumblr and imagine that I will also enjoy this book.
PS I take the dust jackets off my hardcover books when I read them or lend them out so they don’t get ruined. That “read book” shit looks real cool until pages start falling out of the mother fucker and you have to buy a new copy of a book that ends up being out of print.
Getting real tired of people on XBox Live telling my girlfriend to get back in the kitchen.
Idiots, our XBox is IN THE KITCHEN! How the else would she be able to play?
That’s the most unoriginal, unfunny joke I’ve ever heard.
This is among the reasons why I hate offensive humor. No one even tries to be funny. They just expect to say something offensive and get a laugh.
Please enjoy this picture of my balls as a response.
We all know that “all artists steal.” However, did you know that reciting this to a Target employee or police officer will NOT get you out of a shoplifting charge?
I wanted to buy a book today so I picked up Sacre Bleu by Christopher Moore. I know nothing about it. Haven’t even read the back of it. But fuck it, its Christopher Moore so you know its good!
PS do I look fucking amazing today, or what? I have been killing it lately in the handsome department.
Me and Jake are reading Making Money by Terry Pratchett and loving it!
Apparently “throwback Thursday” is a thing so here’s a picture of me when I was 5, my guitar collection from 17, and a picture of me shirtless at 16.
I look amazing today!
Unpopular Opinon: Raising A Family
Why do people always complain that the minimum wage doesn’t allow someone to raise a family.
Why do you think you’re entitled to raise a family?
You’re not.
When you have a job, you are entitled to a wage that allows to take care of yourself (which the current minimum wage does not do).
You don’t get to get a higher wage because you don’t like condoms and your girlfriend doesn’t believe in abortion.
It would also be nice if we could have the right kind of healthcare so that women had easy access to birth control. But some people are against that. Again, I don’t care. It’s an option to not have a damn baby. You don’t deserve a higher wage because Jesus tells you birth control is wrong.
Best Idea For A TV Show Ever
Hannah Montana exactly as it was, but with Slipknot instead of Miley Cyrus. Billy Rae Cyrus is still their dad. They’re nine grown men in high school trying to keep the secret that they’re actually one of the world’s biggest metal bands. We follow the guys as they learn about love, friendship, music, and the importance of family.
And then at the end of an episode, they play a big concert and the girl who has been bullying them sings along to every word of People=Shit.
