Someone with the last name Corn needs to start a podcast where they talk about horror movies and serial killers called Corn On Macabre.
I just put a check in the mail to buy a guitar.
For the first time in my entire life, I have earned every penny I used to buy a guitar straight up. Every other guitar has been purchased either with money given to me as a gift, or on credit cards.
This is an incredible moment for me. You have no idea how excited I am right now!
Thanks to dating apps on your phone, it’s possible to be introduced to the love of your life while pooping.
You ever have a person in your life, and they mean the world to you. Like the sun rises and sets on this person. And then they’re gone, for whatever reason. Just gone from your life. And you’re sitting back remembering who they were and you realize they were kind of a cunt?
The Most Important Movie
I’ve spoken at length about It and why its the most important book in the world to me, but now I want to talk about the movie that’s most important to me: Terminator 2.
I remember being like, 6 years old and seeing that teaser trailer where they build the endoskeleton. This guy right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us3ggae8-Ec
I was too young to have seen the first Terminator because this was before we had cable, and didn’t even know there was a first Terminator movie until I was like, 11. You’d think I would have put together that since the movie was called Terminator 2, there was a Terminator 1. But I was not a smart child. All I knew was I was 6 years old, and there was a robot skeleton on my TV and it would be featured in a movie that starred my favorite actor at the time. Holy. Shit. I had to see this movie! But I could not. Because I was 6.
I did get a bunch of Terminator toys though, so my parents were well aware of my love of the robot in the leather jacket. I mean really. A robot. That rides a motorcycle, wears sunglasses, has a leather jacket, and is Arnold fucking Swarzenegger? How much cooler can things possibly get? The answer is none. None more cooler. When the movie came out on VHS, my mom picked me up a copy without me even asking for it. I popped it, and BAM! Everything wonderful happened.
There were robots! Who drove the motorcycles! Car chases! MOTHER FUCKING TIME TRAVEL! And a shitload of cursing. I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to be Edward Furlong for the longest time.
That movie really set the bar for me as far as fiction goes. It showed me that you could have time travel and maturity. It showed me you could have robots and action. It showed me crazy fucking stunts and fight scenes. Terminator 2 is probably more the reason for my leather jacket than punk rock is. And, as something I never noticed before right now, it showed me that you could have a strong female main character without a love interest, or love story, or any of that nonsense. It was the perfect movie for an ADHD little kid like me, who loved science fiction and action movies.
There was never a movie like this before it, and there probably never will be again. As far as I’m concerned, Terminator 2 stands in a class all its own.
Trying to figure out where I should live in NYC. Where do all the Ravenclaws live? Cause that’s where I need to be.
You people act like white, cisgendered, heterosexual males have it soooo easy. Well that’s bullshit. Do you realize I will NEVER have the opportunity to unironically say “I like my coffee like my men: strong and black.”
So who’s really oppressed here?