i swear time drags when you’re waiting for someone you got into a fight with to reaccept your friend request. it’s like waiting for lil kim’s career to come back- it probably won’t happen and if it does the end result isn’t gonna be great, but dammit, you want it to happen anyway
“Something Vimes had learned as a young guard drifted up from memory. If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you’re going to die. So they’ll talk. They’ll gloat.
They’ll watch you squirm. They’ll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar.
So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”—
At times, don’t get me wrong, I think I’m a bit decent looking. But overall, I think I’m so unattractive. I’m not fishing for compliments. There are so many stunning girls, I can’t even compare. Whatever they do, whether it’s making silly faces, anything, they’re still pretty while doing it. I wish I was more appealing. Honestly.
Fuck this mess. I’m hot as shit. If you ain’t lining up to suck my dick, you’re wrong.
Woody Harrelson:I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifer comes on, and she goes, 'Hi, Woody, I'm J—is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.
Josh Hutcherson:When I got cast, she called me up for one of those five-minute 'Excited to work with you, blah, blah, blah' things. The conversation started with her saying, 'Think about a catheter going in – ouch!' and then turns into a 45-minute rant about zombies and the apocalypse.
Zoë Kravitz:I'd met her a few times, and she was like, 'You should come over and we'll hang out.' So I go over to her apartment, and she opens the door in a towel. She's like, 'Come in, sorry, you're early, I was about to shower.' And she drops her towel and gets in the shower, and starts shaving her legs, totally naked. She was like, 'Are we here yet? Is this OK?' And I was like, 'I guess we're there!'
I hope everyone is now aware that my first sentence to all new people I meet will be "Is that a sex swing?"
parents:you don't appreciate us enough, you act like you hate us, you don't love us at all and all you do is take us for granted. just remember you never know how long we have left to live.
me:are you kidding me? I do everything you ask me too, I have good grades, I try my best, I always say I love you and I always say goodnight. there are so many kids who treat their parents worse then I treat you. I understand you want me to be a 'better person' but insulting me and ragging on every little mistake I make isn't the way to do it. It just sucks that with every 'good job' comes a 'you could have done better' why can't you just be proud of what I've accomplished instead of dwelling on what I've done wrong?