comparing your sex life to porn is like spies comparing themselves to james freakin' bond
- me: hello this is spying tips for spies how may i help
- person #1: so, often after i fight a bad guy my suit is pretty much ruined and i'm really self-conscious about it, in fact i've kinda stopped trying to pursue the evil genius bent on global destruction. help!
- person #2: i think martinis are better stirred than shaken :( am i a freak?
- person #3: wondering if you can help. sometimes when all the evil henchmen fire guns towards me at once, some of the bullets will usually HIT me. i've never heard of this happening to anyone before. what can i do??
- person #4: so the bad guy has captured me but it doesn't seem like he's going to just tell me all of his evil plans, which is sort of what i was expecting??! need advice on this one ASAP, thanks in advance (ps: sorry i'm anon)
- person #5: so don't get me wrong, i love being a spy and my boss says all the information i keep finding out is super-useful. but the thing is, my car doesn't turn into a submarine and i haven't even killed anyone (to be honest i'm not sure i'd even want to!) even though they say that's totally fine, i feel pretty inadequate. any advice??
- me: *shhhh now spies, it is all ok*